Lately the last few days I have been feeling a little down compared to the norm of the last few weeks. I can't pinpoint what exactly is making me feel blue except I keep thinking about my kids. I miss them all so much. I want to be selfish and go take them all away for a day without permission BUT I KNOW that is not in their best interest or mine for that matter. I would even settle right now for pictures of my kids being sent to me so i can see them grow up. Watching them grow up in pictures in better than nothing at all.
I'm scared that this missing my kids will throw me into a deeper depression and land me in the hospital. Then what good would that do anyone? Nothing at all! Wouldn't do my husband or myself any good. I can AND will beat this feeling! Maybe a good walk will help me. That will be my plan for the day - take an hr walk.
I feel better a lil bit just writing this out to express myself. I know it is not a cure all but it really does help.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
December 2010 to present
December 9, 2010 is the day my world changed and not for the better. It was my birthday and I had a phone call from DCS (Department of Child Services) to come to the office to speak with someone. Upon arrival I knew something was wrong as Aja was there. -- Backing up a few days to December 7th -- Aja had a small scrape mark on her right shin and it was shown to the school nurse. The nurse did her job and reported to the social worker who did her job (not very well though) and called DCS on December 8th. December 9th someone goes to question Aja about what had happened and how she got the mark. I had known for a while things with Rick weren't heading well but I was trying to tough it out because I felt we could work past it all in the end. -- Well after questioning me on December 9th the social worker told me she wanted to speak with Rick about the matter. Upon doing that I was informed they would be removing the girls from the home but felt the boys were safe since they were Rick's children. I rushed to the school to tell Sabrina what was going on and that I loved her. They had one week of the 1st semester left and I really wanted them to finish it at Xavier since I knew the dads home was not ready for 2 girls to be living there.
Things happened over the next week like court and being bullied into a decision I didn't realize I had a choice in the matter. So the girls were in foster care for almost 2 weeks right before the holidays. The court made a decision (after the case worker went behind a judges back to another judge to get it granted) that the girls could go stay with their dad during this whole ordeal (at least they would be with family for the holidays). I entered a complete emotional break-down. I didn't want to get out of bed, do much of anything, or spend time with the boys either. I felt so depressed and alone.
I am not saying I was or am a perfect person. I have made many bad choices in my life. I cheated on Rick with a few guys during 2011 because I just didn't feel that connection to him anymore. The year of 2011 was nothing but horrid painful memories that I wish I could forget. There was a lot of court dates, bad choices on my part, and one shining glimmer of light late in the year. --- I missed all the kids birthdays without seeing them. I missed Aja graduate Kindergarten. I wasn't there for Sabrina when she made herself so sick from anorexia that she ended up in the ER. I just wasn't there for my kids like a mother should be & I feel so bad about it but nothing I can do now to change it.
October 25, 2011 was the next day where my life turned shitty. On this day the father's were granted full custody of the children and my visitation with the girls was fully suspended until a therapist decides (which the girls dad refuses to let happen) while my visitation with the boys went to supervised.
----- August 27 2011 I met a really nice guy and after things with the boys dad were actually "over", I needed a place to stay and this guy helped me out. We got to together shortly there after and got married December 9 2011. -----
I have been diagnosed as a bi-polar with depression and schizophrenic like thoughts. Which does explain some of my actions but not them all. I am giving it time to get better still. On the right medicine finally and pray the day I see my kids again is sooner than later.
I will be using this blog to give updates on what is going on.
Things happened over the next week like court and being bullied into a decision I didn't realize I had a choice in the matter. So the girls were in foster care for almost 2 weeks right before the holidays. The court made a decision (after the case worker went behind a judges back to another judge to get it granted) that the girls could go stay with their dad during this whole ordeal (at least they would be with family for the holidays). I entered a complete emotional break-down. I didn't want to get out of bed, do much of anything, or spend time with the boys either. I felt so depressed and alone.
I am not saying I was or am a perfect person. I have made many bad choices in my life. I cheated on Rick with a few guys during 2011 because I just didn't feel that connection to him anymore. The year of 2011 was nothing but horrid painful memories that I wish I could forget. There was a lot of court dates, bad choices on my part, and one shining glimmer of light late in the year. --- I missed all the kids birthdays without seeing them. I missed Aja graduate Kindergarten. I wasn't there for Sabrina when she made herself so sick from anorexia that she ended up in the ER. I just wasn't there for my kids like a mother should be & I feel so bad about it but nothing I can do now to change it.
October 25, 2011 was the next day where my life turned shitty. On this day the father's were granted full custody of the children and my visitation with the girls was fully suspended until a therapist decides (which the girls dad refuses to let happen) while my visitation with the boys went to supervised.
----- August 27 2011 I met a really nice guy and after things with the boys dad were actually "over", I needed a place to stay and this guy helped me out. We got to together shortly there after and got married December 9 2011. -----
I have been diagnosed as a bi-polar with depression and schizophrenic like thoughts. Which does explain some of my actions but not them all. I am giving it time to get better still. On the right medicine finally and pray the day I see my kids again is sooner than later.
I will be using this blog to give updates on what is going on.
Blog taking a turn
This blog has taken a turn and will no longer be able my family. long story which will be covered in a post. I expect to be judged harshly from others.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Not Going to Recap 2010 ...
Let's just say way too much happened. It was a very stressful and yet wonderful year watching my children grow.
2011 is going well.
Sabrina made the A/B Honor Roll in school (I AM SO PROUD OF HER!) She has made great improvements since she started her ADD medication.
Aja is in the top of her class. Thank You Westside Preschool!
I guess the biggest shock for everyone is .... "I made it thru 2010 and DIDN'T get pregnant!"
The boys are doing well. Thaddeus is going to make a great linebacker some day. He weighs more than Osiris and is almost as tall as him.
Osiris is having a few medical issues but nothing major and just grateful that my children are truly healthy. Osiris has low iron stores in his body. He is on iron supplements and i "sneak" it in his drinks but if i get just a tad too much he will tell me "tastes bad" and refuse to drink it. When you test his hemoglobin the number there is GREAT, but the stores just keep dropping lower and lower. I have him drinking Kid Essentials drinks everyday to replacement his cow milk intake. He loves it and its FAR FAR FAR better for him! He goes to see the nutritionist on Tuesday. I told them I need help because he is bruising so easily right now and with Osiris and Thaddeus starting the "brotherly love (aka wrestling)" I don't need him covered head to toe in bruises. He is definitely my weaker immune kid. He caught the flu that is going around and got it badly. He became severely dehydrated and was admitted to the hospital for fluids and rest. He is doing better now and pretty much back to himself with just a wee bit of being tired easily hanging around.
Leo is trying so hard to be his own man already. Its cute!
I am looking for a job and right now anything will do. The boys go to daycare during the day and I need something to do other than lay around. I am starting a lifestyle change in my eating habits and so far I have lost 4.4lbs since Jan 1st.
I see great things coming to my family in 2011 -- I hope that happens because (as spongebob would say --) I AM READY!
2011 is going well.
Sabrina made the A/B Honor Roll in school (I AM SO PROUD OF HER!) She has made great improvements since she started her ADD medication.
Aja is in the top of her class. Thank You Westside Preschool!
I guess the biggest shock for everyone is .... "I made it thru 2010 and DIDN'T get pregnant!"
The boys are doing well. Thaddeus is going to make a great linebacker some day. He weighs more than Osiris and is almost as tall as him.
Osiris is having a few medical issues but nothing major and just grateful that my children are truly healthy. Osiris has low iron stores in his body. He is on iron supplements and i "sneak" it in his drinks but if i get just a tad too much he will tell me "tastes bad" and refuse to drink it. When you test his hemoglobin the number there is GREAT, but the stores just keep dropping lower and lower. I have him drinking Kid Essentials drinks everyday to replacement his cow milk intake. He loves it and its FAR FAR FAR better for him! He goes to see the nutritionist on Tuesday. I told them I need help because he is bruising so easily right now and with Osiris and Thaddeus starting the "brotherly love (aka wrestling)" I don't need him covered head to toe in bruises. He is definitely my weaker immune kid. He caught the flu that is going around and got it badly. He became severely dehydrated and was admitted to the hospital for fluids and rest. He is doing better now and pretty much back to himself with just a wee bit of being tired easily hanging around.
Leo is trying so hard to be his own man already. Its cute!
I am looking for a job and right now anything will do. The boys go to daycare during the day and I need something to do other than lay around. I am starting a lifestyle change in my eating habits and so far I have lost 4.4lbs since Jan 1st.
I see great things coming to my family in 2011 -- I hope that happens because (as spongebob would say --) I AM READY!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Okay so been awhile
It has been awhile since my last useful post.
The kids are doing well.
I started the South Beach diet almost 2wks ago. I should of waited but oh well. I will just do Phase 1 a few weeks longer before switching to phase 2. I started out at 228.8 and currently down to 223.6. I had lost a total of 7lbs but gained a few back last weekend when I went to the 10yr class reunion. Life with Rick has been difficult to deal with lately. I have given him a year (since last July) to get his issues -- his anxiety mainly be taken care of. That is hard to do when you refuse to accept the treatment given to you by a doctor. I am so tired of being yelled at and treated like a child. Last I knew I was a grown woman who is 28yrs old.
I spend most of my days now tending to kids and cleaning. I vacuum everyday and wow I didn't realize how much I would have to vacuum laminate floor since there is no carpet but the dog hair shows up in small balls lol! I am rarely on BBC and if I do get on there it is late at night or on a off day (meaning i am down and dont want to clean). I do love my life and love my kids. I just wish at times things were a little easier to understand and make sense of. It would also be helpful if Rick would do his work in the shop and stop griping because its not getting done when he is just not feeling like it.
Nap time so its time to do some dishes.
Nap time
The kids are doing well.
- Sabrina has been diagnosed with ADD (which i honestly figured she had). She has a really hard time with focusing on things.
- Aja graduated from Pre-K on May 24. I can't believe it! We also found out that Aja is far-sighted (badly!!) and needs glasses. her teacher had no idea and now we are wondering how she was able to do her school work when she couldn't see it.
- We have been told that Osiris has 3 of 4 genetic markers for Celiac diease (D8 and both D2's). He was sent to Riley for more testing and they had no idea why we were even there. It was a long day that day. His blood work came back normal but I don't trust it because the normal blood test is not considered reliable under the age of 3. I will just trust my gut and see what happens. Osiris goes for an MRI on June 4th to check a bump on his head that was his soft spot that closed too soon to make sure there is no tumor there
- Thaddeus is growing like a weed. I am concerned with him for one reason and only one reason. He seems to have some major balance issues. He gets to try to move too fast and eats the floor all the time. I am having it checked out at his check-up on June 18th. I was told that would be the best time to get it addressed. I am thinking it might be just his huge head size but want to make sure.
- Leo is almost 6 months old and wow I can't believe how fast the time has gone! He is rolling over like a champ, holding is bottle, and trying to eat everything in sight it seems. He is so sweet and loving. I am really enjoying watching him grow but feel bad that I wasn't able to truly do the same for Osiris or Thaddeus.
I started the South Beach diet almost 2wks ago. I should of waited but oh well. I will just do Phase 1 a few weeks longer before switching to phase 2. I started out at 228.8 and currently down to 223.6. I had lost a total of 7lbs but gained a few back last weekend when I went to the 10yr class reunion. Life with Rick has been difficult to deal with lately. I have given him a year (since last July) to get his issues -- his anxiety mainly be taken care of. That is hard to do when you refuse to accept the treatment given to you by a doctor. I am so tired of being yelled at and treated like a child. Last I knew I was a grown woman who is 28yrs old.
I spend most of my days now tending to kids and cleaning. I vacuum everyday and wow I didn't realize how much I would have to vacuum laminate floor since there is no carpet but the dog hair shows up in small balls lol! I am rarely on BBC and if I do get on there it is late at night or on a off day (meaning i am down and dont want to clean). I do love my life and love my kids. I just wish at times things were a little easier to understand and make sense of. It would also be helpful if Rick would do his work in the shop and stop griping because its not getting done when he is just not feeling like it.
Nap time so its time to do some dishes.
Nap time
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Listia.com
Listia is a cute website. No money exchanges hands unless something you win requires you to pay for the shipping which can be done thru paypal.
kind of fun and lots of cute things on there. http://www.listia.com/?r=35689
kind of fun and lots of cute things on there. http://www.listia.com/?r=35689
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
New Year approaching real soon
Oh man what happened to this last year? It is has gone by so fast. I feel like I just had Thad and here he is already 13 months old and I have another new little guy. The girls are off to their First Visit to the Ocean right now. Rick was being very helpful for a little while and now he is back to before, -- No Help At All. He doesn't want to have another baby yet but he won't stop bugging me to give it up. Osiris has been vomiting off n on since yesterday now and somehow Rick feels this is my fault. Scratching my head to figure how what I did to make the kid throw up... I know my stomach is hurting like it is upset (prolly related to my gallbladder still needing removed).
anyways for the new year like I said I have some plans already set-up ready to go.
I am going to do more work on getting everything ready and in place in case I need it to be a single parent of 5. I know it will be hard work but I honestly feel that the girls might relax more and be able to be kids like they should be. Their dad has told me that neither of them are wearing pull-ups to bed like here at home, that just makes me feel like complete CRAP! knowing that my girls are more relaxed there than here. I do understand why they are that way though, their dad is a lot more lax on things than Rick is.
Well I guess I must end this session since I have 2 boys crying... one wants fed and the other wants out of his bed.
anyways for the new year like I said I have some plans already set-up ready to go.
- Take money aside each week for certain bills
- Balance and track my spending better
- Track my savings at all stores so I can see what it is
- Try to relax more
- Lose some weight
I am going to do more work on getting everything ready and in place in case I need it to be a single parent of 5. I know it will be hard work but I honestly feel that the girls might relax more and be able to be kids like they should be. Their dad has told me that neither of them are wearing pull-ups to bed like here at home, that just makes me feel like complete CRAP! knowing that my girls are more relaxed there than here. I do understand why they are that way though, their dad is a lot more lax on things than Rick is.
Well I guess I must end this session since I have 2 boys crying... one wants fed and the other wants out of his bed.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas to All!
Merry Christmas to All! Or if you prefer --- Happy Holidays!
Christmas morning I got to sleep in and I was shocked. I was able to get up and shower before the boys woke up. The girls left on Wednesday for their dads, well my sister and bil took them with them when they left to go back to Crawfordsville. We were due for ice on Thursday and I didn't want to try to drive in it to take the girls to meet their dad 1/2 way. So since then I have been slightly depressed. I feel like I am letting them down because I can't go spend as much money on them like their dad did for Christmas. I know he just wants to make up for not seeing them more during the year but still makes me feel like crude.
So on Christmas Eve night I decided what my new year's resolution will be .... After I get my bills caught up I will be taking $20 a week to set back for Christmas next year, $35 a week towards Aja's preschool fees, $15 a week towards my attorney bill, and $12 a week towards my car insurance .. leaving me with $51 a week for diapers, fuel in my van, and cvs deals if I get the time. I can work with that since I blow too much on other things like eating out when no one is around me in the van.
I hope my girls are having fun with their dad and grandma in Florida this year. I really hate not having the girls around for Christmas. I haven't had them on Christmas for 3yrs now and it really hurts. The house just feels kind of empty when they are gone.
anyways, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas or Holiday!
Christmas morning I got to sleep in and I was shocked. I was able to get up and shower before the boys woke up. The girls left on Wednesday for their dads, well my sister and bil took them with them when they left to go back to Crawfordsville. We were due for ice on Thursday and I didn't want to try to drive in it to take the girls to meet their dad 1/2 way. So since then I have been slightly depressed. I feel like I am letting them down because I can't go spend as much money on them like their dad did for Christmas. I know he just wants to make up for not seeing them more during the year but still makes me feel like crude.
So on Christmas Eve night I decided what my new year's resolution will be .... After I get my bills caught up I will be taking $20 a week to set back for Christmas next year, $35 a week towards Aja's preschool fees, $15 a week towards my attorney bill, and $12 a week towards my car insurance .. leaving me with $51 a week for diapers, fuel in my van, and cvs deals if I get the time. I can work with that since I blow too much on other things like eating out when no one is around me in the van.
I hope my girls are having fun with their dad and grandma in Florida this year. I really hate not having the girls around for Christmas. I haven't had them on Christmas for 3yrs now and it really hurts. The house just feels kind of empty when they are gone.
anyways, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas or Holiday!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Recycle Bank
Recycle Bank is something in a few areas that encourage recycling by offering rewards. Well right now even if they aren't in your area you can still get some benefit from them with electronics. Also right now when you open a new account they will give you 100pts to start with. You can get a $4/$20 CVS coupon for 40pts, not bad really. CVS is a sponsor that authorized that coupon. Coke has a $1 off any product coupon for 10pts. So say you need a bottle of Dasani water and it is $1.39 well with that coupon makes it $.39 for a bottle of water. Not bad at all! So there are stuff you can get now with your free 100pts for opening an account. Plus if you can get enough people interested then maybe you could get your community into it and then earn even more points for items from the program.
I do know this is something big in NY and if enough people get involved we can help recycle even more.
I do know this is something big in NY and if enough people get involved we can help recycle even more.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
8 Days in this world
Leo has been in this world 8 days now. I can't believe its been that short of a time yet so long ago. Sunday 12/13 was my EDD with him. I almost wonder if I could have made it to my EDD and 3 days passed it (today 12/16) with no problems other than a rather large baby. I don't think I could have made it body wise because I was out of room for him and I am still having pelvic problems when I lay flat on either side of my body.
So let me back up a few....
On Sunday 12/06 I woke up about 3am with a huge pain in the front of my belly, noticed a "knot" feeling in the front of it in my pooch belly area. I called the on-call because the pain from it was really bad. I received no return call, so after waiting an hr for a call I went back to bed. I was still in major pain, so I took one T3 and waddled thru my day in pain.
On Monday 12/07 the area hurt to even put my clothes against. I didn't think I'd be able to make it the day without going to L&D for it. I did my pre-op lab work at 9:30a, went home and canceled my counseling appt because I was so swollen it hurt. I get home rest as much as I can and then head off to my last OB Appt which is my Pre-op appt. Dr. Assphat is a smartass and i knew he'd have something fun to say. He walked in and told me "he was going to have to rescheduled my c-section because that day just didn't work for him". I laughed and said oh well doc I'll be there anyways and won't be leaving until after my son is out. He laughed and said I was no fun. I get out of there go home for another appt and then after it go get the girls from school. We get everyone taken care of and fed then head off to Aja's preschool Christmas program. Aja was an angel in the program. I joked with her teacher if she had a pair of horns to hold up the halo? LOL!
Monday night, My mom and Sister arrive after we get home from the program. Dh is not home yet from getting SIL. Kids get in bed and Dh and SIL arrive. I am congested and not feeling well, but still very excited and unable to sleep. I do some dishes, make a list and double check i have everything I want to take ready. I am finally able to get some sleep for a few hours. I am wide awake and ready to go @ 3am. I am out of my mind because time is moving so slowly.
Tuesday - Around 5am get in the shower and try to relax. I was still really congested but didn't take my medicine since I couldn't drink anything and didn't want that on an empty stomach. I finally make enough noise to wake up Rick, Sabrina, my mom and sister. Get all my stuff gathered up near the backdoor. We keep it quiet as not to wake Osiris because he sleeps on the couch, only place he will sleep all night without waking up.
I get to the hospital and start to get a little nervous. Get back in the room take one last belly pic, strip down, go potty, then weigh myself. I go out and get in the bed and notice my legs hurt from swelling and being scared at this point. The nurse does all the normal asking of questions and comes back with the goodies to start my i.v.. she tells me she needs to do my pre-op lab, then i mention i did that yesterday. She was in shock goes out and checks yup did all but ONE, i was annoyed. Anyways she gets the one vial she needs and gets the iv going. Of course then i feel the urge to pee again, but i wait it out for awhile. Rick and I watch some tv for awhile and then the nurse comes and takes the monitors off me. At that point I decide I can go pee and not feel bad haha. I get in there and decide one last chance to have a bm. (tmi coming up) I notice my bm is mixed with blood. I don't think anything of it at all for some reason.
3 docs make trips to the room and then get taken back to the OR. I was actually shaking because I was scared at this point. I am not sure why. I get in there they get the spinal in and lay on my back. I start to feel sick from no food in my system and my bile from my gallbladder building up in my stomach. Luckily all i did spit up was spit bubbles and minor stomach acid. The doctors finish up the stuff they are doing and rick comes in just before they make the incision cut. I am still sort of out of it when I hear "LOOK at all that hair!" I was like wow they are already in there and hell I didn't even realize it.
The Dr was just as shocked as myself to see that Leo was no longer breech. He was breech at my last ob appt the day before. So that ment sometime he flipped and I didn't realize it. I laugh when I think that Leo made sure to flip so that the staff didn't cut the wrong thing haha! Leo makes his exit and Rick is called over to cut the cord! He was happy to get the chance to do that. He didn't get to with Osiris since it was the middle of the night and didn't get to with Thad either. So he was very happy too finally get a chance to cut the cord. I was in the recovery room before I knew it and I finally got a first time thing happen for me. I got to do skin to skin with Leo and nurse right away. I didn't get that with the girls as per policy at the time at Wishard all babies went to be evaluated while mom was recovering and the boys ended up in the NICU. So to get that experience with Leo was just wonderful!
I had a few of the same nurses this year for the my c-section and for my mother/baby room. It was nice to see some familiar faces. They were all shocked to see me again so soon but I've gotten used to that reaction haha. I made some nurses happy again this year. I brought in a box of chocolates and a box of hot cocoa variety packets for each nurse shift change that gave me a new "main" nurse. The nurses this year didn't always get a decent lunch hour so the stuff gave them a little something to hold them over for a while.
Upon discharge my nurse gave me so much stuff I was in shock. I got 2 diaper bags for nursing mothers, 2 packages of newborn diapers, a beach bag (i brought with me) 1/2 full of size 1 diapers, 2 boxes of ready to feed 2oz bottles of formula, an unopened package of hospital monster pads and a few more items. I was overjoyed and felt blessed to receive them because that ment I wouldn't have to go get diapers for Leo for awhile as I have a package of size 1's and 2's in the boys closet already. Leo still fits in a newborn diaper just fine even now and I am thankful I will get to use all the newborn diapers up first.
So let me back up a few....
On Sunday 12/06 I woke up about 3am with a huge pain in the front of my belly, noticed a "knot" feeling in the front of it in my pooch belly area. I called the on-call because the pain from it was really bad. I received no return call, so after waiting an hr for a call I went back to bed. I was still in major pain, so I took one T3 and waddled thru my day in pain.
On Monday 12/07 the area hurt to even put my clothes against. I didn't think I'd be able to make it the day without going to L&D for it. I did my pre-op lab work at 9:30a, went home and canceled my counseling appt because I was so swollen it hurt. I get home rest as much as I can and then head off to my last OB Appt which is my Pre-op appt. Dr. Assphat is a smartass and i knew he'd have something fun to say. He walked in and told me "he was going to have to rescheduled my c-section because that day just didn't work for him". I laughed and said oh well doc I'll be there anyways and won't be leaving until after my son is out. He laughed and said I was no fun. I get out of there go home for another appt and then after it go get the girls from school. We get everyone taken care of and fed then head off to Aja's preschool Christmas program. Aja was an angel in the program. I joked with her teacher if she had a pair of horns to hold up the halo? LOL!
Monday night, My mom and Sister arrive after we get home from the program. Dh is not home yet from getting SIL. Kids get in bed and Dh and SIL arrive. I am congested and not feeling well, but still very excited and unable to sleep. I do some dishes, make a list and double check i have everything I want to take ready. I am finally able to get some sleep for a few hours. I am wide awake and ready to go @ 3am. I am out of my mind because time is moving so slowly.
Tuesday - Around 5am get in the shower and try to relax. I was still really congested but didn't take my medicine since I couldn't drink anything and didn't want that on an empty stomach. I finally make enough noise to wake up Rick, Sabrina, my mom and sister. Get all my stuff gathered up near the backdoor. We keep it quiet as not to wake Osiris because he sleeps on the couch, only place he will sleep all night without waking up.
I get to the hospital and start to get a little nervous. Get back in the room take one last belly pic, strip down, go potty, then weigh myself. I go out and get in the bed and notice my legs hurt from swelling and being scared at this point. The nurse does all the normal asking of questions and comes back with the goodies to start my i.v.. she tells me she needs to do my pre-op lab, then i mention i did that yesterday. She was in shock goes out and checks yup did all but ONE, i was annoyed. Anyways she gets the one vial she needs and gets the iv going. Of course then i feel the urge to pee again, but i wait it out for awhile. Rick and I watch some tv for awhile and then the nurse comes and takes the monitors off me. At that point I decide I can go pee and not feel bad haha. I get in there and decide one last chance to have a bm. (tmi coming up) I notice my bm is mixed with blood. I don't think anything of it at all for some reason.
3 docs make trips to the room and then get taken back to the OR. I was actually shaking because I was scared at this point. I am not sure why. I get in there they get the spinal in and lay on my back. I start to feel sick from no food in my system and my bile from my gallbladder building up in my stomach. Luckily all i did spit up was spit bubbles and minor stomach acid. The doctors finish up the stuff they are doing and rick comes in just before they make the incision cut. I am still sort of out of it when I hear "LOOK at all that hair!" I was like wow they are already in there and hell I didn't even realize it.
The Dr was just as shocked as myself to see that Leo was no longer breech. He was breech at my last ob appt the day before. So that ment sometime he flipped and I didn't realize it. I laugh when I think that Leo made sure to flip so that the staff didn't cut the wrong thing haha! Leo makes his exit and Rick is called over to cut the cord! He was happy to get the chance to do that. He didn't get to with Osiris since it was the middle of the night and didn't get to with Thad either. So he was very happy too finally get a chance to cut the cord. I was in the recovery room before I knew it and I finally got a first time thing happen for me. I got to do skin to skin with Leo and nurse right away. I didn't get that with the girls as per policy at the time at Wishard all babies went to be evaluated while mom was recovering and the boys ended up in the NICU. So to get that experience with Leo was just wonderful!
I had a few of the same nurses this year for the my c-section and for my mother/baby room. It was nice to see some familiar faces. They were all shocked to see me again so soon but I've gotten used to that reaction haha. I made some nurses happy again this year. I brought in a box of chocolates and a box of hot cocoa variety packets for each nurse shift change that gave me a new "main" nurse. The nurses this year didn't always get a decent lunch hour so the stuff gave them a little something to hold them over for a while.
Upon discharge my nurse gave me so much stuff I was in shock. I got 2 diaper bags for nursing mothers, 2 packages of newborn diapers, a beach bag (i brought with me) 1/2 full of size 1 diapers, 2 boxes of ready to feed 2oz bottles of formula, an unopened package of hospital monster pads and a few more items. I was overjoyed and felt blessed to receive them because that ment I wouldn't have to go get diapers for Leo for awhile as I have a package of size 1's and 2's in the boys closet already. Leo still fits in a newborn diaper just fine even now and I am thankful I will get to use all the newborn diapers up first.
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