Tired

I am trying to do the right thing by the girls and shane's wishes by going through the court. Well I try to get help to get an attorney for parenting time and i ask shane for the address so i can give it to the attorney. I get accused to trying to abuse the system and take advantage of him. I want to see my girls but i will go through the channels he wants. I'm not going to drive about 3 1/2 hours on the chance I might get a glimpse of them outside by the house. I just want them to know I love them and I am sorry I didn't get the help I needed sooner.

The boys are another story. I don't even contact their dad (not supposed to anyways). So i added them to the list of kids I want parenting time with. That should go over like a ton of bricks in quicksand.

I pray each night for them and I will never stop loving them ever!

Try to do the right thing

I am trying to get some legal help so I can get some parenting time with my children. I can't seem to do the right thing there. I ask for the address for the girls dad and it gets turned into drama about how i haven't changed and never will. I wasn't going to go to the house or anything i wanted it for an attorney if I was able to obtain one. The girls birthday cards will sit with me until I am able to see them again - each year marked and money included. I am going to start being a better person. I am going to remember birthdays and such.

The fathers using the kids to hurt me will come back to bite all of us and i just pray the kids forgive me someday.