Osiris is a goof

He is jealous of Thaddeus being in the walker now. So when Thaddeus gets out of it Osiris likes to climb in it. Osiris will walk around in the walker and bump into things like the wall, the dog, the couch, the coffee table lol, he will then tell whatever he bumped into "sowwie". It is funny! He just seems to have so much fun doing it. He reminds me why I love my kids when he is being a goof. All the good funny moments are the best. I will gladly take all the good with their bad any day as long as I live.

Men ugh

Okay so Rick asked what was wrong. I finally came clean with it all. How I have been feeling and everything. I have my initial meeting with the counselor next Thursday on Sept 4th. I am so ready honestly. The place I was referred to offers a lot of help and group sessions and is recommended on a website for Prenatal Depression support. Anyways back to the men thing well in this case a male. I told him how I was feeling like running away and not looking back. Now he has been teasing me about it since. Oh yeah teasing me on my feelings is so going to make it better right? I just roll my eyes and try (key word try) to ignore him but inside it hurts and I told him but he laughs and says hes joking. Uhm not something to joke about. He asked about supper and I told him I don't have a close because I just wanted to hurl. The zoloft dosage was really affecting my appetite when I am stressed. He honestly looked right at me and said "Well it won't hurt you any". OMG SO NOT the point. the point is I am pregnant and need to make sure I do eat to make sure my child is growing.

Why can't he just actually understand or at least act like he understands how I am feeling.

Stride Rite Code

Good only online at striderite.com but here is a code for 20% of $50 or more. If any of you know they have expensive shoes anyways so 20% is a nice little break.
Code = SCHOOL20

1hr = FAIL (possibly)

I had my 1hr gd screen today. Since I have my own glucose meter already anyways, I took it along with me today. I drank my drink in like 30 seconds and man it was still gross ha! I had my appt and it just dawned on me today that the doctor I had my appt with today was gay lol! Nothing like a gay male ob. At least I know he ain't looking at my chest lol!!! So anyways I sit in the waiting room reading a few magazines and posting a lil on my phone. I tested my levels with a finger prick 2 minutes before my blood draw and I was 141 and the cut off this year at the office is 135. So if the blood draw comes back like the finger prick than I will be doing the 3hr screen. So yay me! I guess a first time for anything. I did just barely pass last year. I got a 139 and the cut off was 140. So maybe that was partly why Thad was such a chunky baby at birth.

Sitting up

Thaddeus has decided to show mommy he can sit up and do just fine. He will army crawl all over the house and even tries to get on his knees to crawl. He will fall backwards on his butt and end up sitting up. He will sit there and then decide to take off crawling again. It is so sweet really.

Sabrina met her teacher today at school. The teacher seems really nice. We turned in the "extra" supplies we got for the class room and made it known that I could help more if needed.

I am feeling better. I was really sick for a few days. Not able to keep anything down. I am able to keep some light small things down now. This break from things has been nice and I've been able to get a few things accomplished during the time. I have been able to sit back and enjoy this pregnancy a little bit more. I was able to notice that Leo is a big mover and strong one too. Monday is going to be interesting. I have my 1hr glucola test and me 24wk appt. Plus FIL and his GF fly into town at around 1030a. They are going to visit for a few hours on and then Rick is going to take them to the gf's daughters place an hr away. Sabrina starts school Monday so its a busy busy day.

I get more excited with each passing day and also very scared as December approaches. I can't wait to meet this little man and I'm very scared because I know my uterus is getting weak. I am putting my complete and utter faith in my doctor to do what is best medically.

may everyone have a great rest of the weekend.

Here it us just after 4am est and I'm up and awake because Osiris won't go back to sleep. Rick woke me to tell me that Osiris was awake standing behind me and that was pretty much my clue Rick wasn't moving. I am so tired and starting to think my ear pain/issues is due to lack of sleep but won't know for sure until some time in September.

Time to go hack n sit in the dark to see if maybe just maybe he will go back to sleep for awhile. (small side note I love thst I can now post enteries from my cell via txt MSG to blogger.)

Today was a better day overall. Felt nice to have a day with so little net activity going on. I feel a little less stressed but still tired overall. Still wish I had a break to myself though.

Today Osiris really got in the pool to play, it was so cute. He had a blast playing with his sisters n I hope it's a good sign.

Watching lady and the tramp on a Saturday night is not really my idea of relaxing. However, Rick went out drinking again tonight for "a few hrs". So not much else to do except let the kids have some entertainment they want. I mean it's good for them and won't kill me lol.

So I guess I'm going to go cuddle with Osiris n finish watching the movie.

Break

I am taking a big break from BBC for awhile. I have enough going on in life and well BBC right now makes me want to throw the computers and laptops against the wall into a zillion pieces. So I think I need a break, since I don't seem to have balls/guts to step up to something. Best for me to take a break.

I expect to lose most people following my blog because of this post.

hope everyone has a nice lovely weekend.

Are some women addicted to having babies?

I saw this on the December 2009 BB and felt it was funny.

Are some women addicted to having babies?

By Martha Brockenbrough, Women's Health

It's not just in your head. There really is a bumper crop of baby bumps out there, from the famously fertile, like Heidi Klum, who's flirting with her fourth set of stretch marks in five years, to the infamous Nadya "Octomom" Suleman, who earlier this year bore eight babies at once even though she already had six other kids at home that she could barely afford to take care of.

In 2007 alone, American women birthed more than 4.3 million babies — the highest number ever. More than a quarter of those were to women having their third or fourth child, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And despite the infertility freak-out the entire country seems to be currently engaged in, only a small number of these babies — perhaps 100,000 — resulted from medical interventions such as in vitro fertilization, says Jamie Grifo, M.D., Ph.D., director of the division of reproductive endocrinology at the NYU School of Medicine.

That doesn't mean that we're transforming into a nation of Duggars (the Arkansas family with 18 kids often seen announcing their latest conception on NBC's TODAY show) and Novogratzes (the New York City clan of seven kids soon to be the focus of a new Bravo reality show) — the average number of children per American family is still hovering right around two.

Still, certain mothers, like 31-year-old Meagan Francis, who is raising her flock of five in Michigan, have big broods because that's what they're used to. "I grew up in a relatively large family and always loved having lots of people around," she says. "So it's natural that I'd try to re-create that experience with my own family."

But it's not always quite so simple, psychologists say. Some women may like being pregnant a little too much, often driven to rapidly reproduce out of insecurity, a craving for attention, or feelings of abandonment by their own parents.

The high of pregnancy

Having babies isn't addictive in the way that alcohol and narcotics can be. But bumpaholics feel compelled to procreate for many of the same reasons that substance abusers turn to booze or drugs.

"Women who are obsessed with being pregnant are literally filling an emptiness inside of them, just as alcoholics and drug addicts use substances to fill a psychological void," says Beverly Hills psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, M.D. Every one of us at some point encounters this void, adds New York family therapist Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of "Financial Infidelity." "You want to have a purpose in this world. You want to feel less lonely."

For some women, babies fill that gap perfectly. Infants are dependent creatures. They can give their mothers a clear identity; they can also become handy social buffers. At a party or on the playground, a woman struggling with feelings of social anxiety or self-consciousness can hide behind the adorable infant in her arms. Any pressure to be cute or charming or funny disappears — your baby has that covered. "Bumpaholics breed to blot out their feelings of insecurity," Weil says.

Boston psychiatrist and Fox News consultant Keith Ablow, M.D., says some women seem to view having more children as an alternative to addressing their own personal problems. "Bearing another child can sometimes provide a substitute for deciding on a career path, making a marriage work, or even wrestling with questions of self-worth," Ablow says.

Then there's the constant attention you garner from others when you're bursting with child. Bumpaholic or not, it can be pretty great. Barb Pomeroy, 42, of Longmont, Colo., is a mother of six girls. She admits that she reveled in the questions and comments her pregnancies elicited from family, friends, and even complete strangers. She also loved the compliments people fed her about how good she looked when she was pregnant with her daughters. Even though she's not planning to have any more children, she misses the heightened interest and confidence pregnancy often brings. "There's this feeling of being special when you're pregnant," she says. "I feel like I become ordinary again when I'm not expecting."

It's not hard to understand why: People smile at you, throw you baby showers, buy you lots of gifts. And the rounder your belly gets, the more space you take up in the world, and the more people take notice of you. In many respects, you become impossible to ignore.

Spouses and partners dote on you, gladly delivering soup at 10 a.m. or antacids at 11 p.m. "My husband constantly rubbed and coddled me, and I ate it all up," says Liz Bustamante, a 39-year-old financial advisor from Forest Hills, N.Y., who has one child and is currently planning for the next. "And for the first time in my life, instead of feeling insecure about my body, I wanted to run around naked! I'd never felt sexier."

Magazines conduct celebrity-bump watches, and nude maternity portraits are becoming de rigueur for celebs and civilians alike. Pregnancy lets every woman be a star in her own world, and the rest of us are all too happy to shine the spotlight. A pregnant woman is exciting because the child she's carrying represents "that tie to the future," says Holly Donahue Singh, a Ph.D. candidate in anthropology at the University of Virginia who teaches a class called Anthropology and Reproduction: Fertility and the Future.

Filling a void?

The belly-rubbing high hits the pregnant woman as well as the people who surround her. The expectant mother gets an oxytocin blast and rubs her belly as a way of bonding. Admirers who rub her belly get a hormone rush, too. "As social creatures, our brains have evolved to make positive social behaviors feel good. Touch causes the release of oxytocin, and this causes the release of dopamine in reward regions of the brain," says Paul J. Zak, director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University.

Given all the psychological, physical, and social rewards associated with pregnancy, it's no surprise that so many women like it. But plenty of couples stop at one or two children, despite the fundamental drive to reproduce. This is because we can use our higher brain functions to keep those instincts in check, reminding ourselves that children cost money — about $950 a month until they're 18 — and require an extraordinary amount of time and energy.

This is precisely why the bump-loving Bustamante says she'll stop at two. Much as she loved her pregnant body and adores being a mom, she wants to allow for some financial flexibility — childcare, ballet lessons, summer camp, and college tuition add up. Having sufficient funds isn't a deal-breaker for everyone, though. Nan Mooney, a 39-year-old single mom, is living with her parents in their Seattle home because she doesn't make enough money to support herself and her son. Still, she desperately wants more kids. Her friends and family call her crazy, she says, but "I knew enough people growing up who had plenty of money who were not necessarily loved and not necessarily happy. I don't think it's an essential ingredient to raising well-adjusted children."

Figuring out the right number of kids to have is a personal decision, to be sure. And not all women with lots of children are bumpaholics. But an important question for pregnancy-craving mothers to ask themselves is why they want more children, Weil says. Are you having them because you don't want to deal with your husband? Or so you don't have to go back to work? Or because you love the attention? Nadya Suleman, for one, is blunt about the fact that she got pregnant to fulfill an emotional need. As she reportedly told one journalist, "I just longed for certain attachments with another person that I really lacked."

But psychologists say there are far better ways of making meaningful connections. In order to have a healthy relationship, married moms need to spend quality time alone with their husbands — whether it's taking a vacation without the baby or just going out to dinner together once a week and leaving the kids with a sitter. "Women who focus on their children to the exclusion of everything else inevitably face an emptiness when their kids grow up and become more independent," Weil says.

If you do find yourself feeling a void as your bundle of joy becomes a toddler, "that's a good sign that it's time to look in the mirror and figure out what's going on with you," says Ann Pleshette Murphy, author of "The Seven Stages of Motherhood: Loving Your Life Without Losing Your Mind." "Invest in yourself. Though it may never be as satisfying as what we get from taking care of our kids, it's important to feel proud of something you do outside of child-rearing so that you don't think of yourself as 'only a mom.'"

"Me time" can include big things — like going back to work or starting your own business from home — or small, daily experiences that enrich your life, such as heading to the gym or joining your girlfriends for dinner and cocktails. It's only when you have a balanced life that you can be sure the inner call for a new addition to your family should be answered.

Help and more

Dh has finally realized I need help trying to do everything he wants me to do. Well I am getting help, just not his. He is going to start every few weeks going and getting SIL #3 to come up here on the weekend. She will help tend the kids so that I can get some work done in the shop. So mainly my week will be kids and weekend will be shop work. I guess its better than nothing. I mean I will get stuff done now. Plus its hard to do it all when nesting and unable to be in 3 places at once ha!

I am having such a hard time this pregnancy to sleep on my side. I fall aleep on my side and always wake flat on my belly. I of course move but wow I hate feeling like I'm smooshing my child lol.

So ready for school to start. Is it August 24th yet? LOL ODD starts school that day and then just after labor day ydd starts school. So I will only have 2 at home until December. Woot!

My tomato plants are growing some yummy maters. I can't wait until they are ready so I can eat them!

Finally have everyone seeing the same doctor now. I feel better about that. Not that I didn't like the older 3 kids doctor, I just don't feel like he took everything I was feeling seriously. I trust my doctor alot more and he always listens even when its about something very minimal. Plus now if we all end up in the hospital we will all go to the same one, as before the older 3 would of been at a different hospital.

I think my house is pretty clean right now haha! I have been nesting and feel it hasnt looked this nice since i was nesting before Thad was born ha! I can feel it slowly dieing down though.

August 24th is my next appt and I will do my gd screen. So yeah not looking forward to that and don't have a good feeling about it either. only time will tell I guess.

Google Search

I added a google search functions so you can search other than in the blogspot from my blog.
I know not too exciting, the google search box is at the bottom of the blog.

Involvement

I am being an involved parent at Sabrina's school. I am going to be the Coordinator for the a few programs, BTFE, Campbells Labels, Nestle Pure Life Labels, Mycokerewards.com. So I am going to learn here soon some better time management skills. I wanted to be involved and I felt this was a good way. I will also be on the PAC (Parent Advisory Counsil - the schools version of PTO). I am excited. Sabrina is excited also, because it means I will be more involved with everything and she likes that idea, for some reason my children are proud of me and that makes me feel wonderful. I am also going to be her classroom mom. If the teacher needs some help with getting things like decorations or a classroom activity planned she will contact me. I am always trying to get more involved and I felt this was my chance since the school is just opening for the first time this year. The administration has plans to get a high school going also down the road so hopefully this is Sabrina's last school move and the only school for the other kids. So I can be involved for many years and help so many other children feel special. Best part is so many of things I am doing just require me to get materials from the school once or twice a month. I can also bring the other kids along as needed so as not to take Rick away from repairs.

Tooth

Thad has the start of his 1st tooth protruding thru his gums right now. I happened to look in his mouth and saw something white and I honestly thought he had some paper in there. I went to clean it out and I felt something slightly sharp and I knew it was a tooth. Yay!! He will at least have ONE tooth before he turns 1! Woohoo!!

Busy

The work for the business is starting to pick-up and we are starting to get slammed. I am overwhelmed even more now because I have to figure out a way to get work done in there plus tend the kids. I just don't feel comfortable leaving a 7yr old in charge of a 3 younger siblings with the youngest 2 still being very dependent on someone for most of everything. Rick does not see a problem with it however. So we have been arguing/discussing this for a few weeks and I just finally have taken the boys in the shop with me when I'm out there and the girls are in the house or outside. Normally outside in the backyard playing and Osiris goes out there and "flies" on his swing.

I've had my Zoloft updated once again so hopefully I can deal with everything without snapping and taking a drive like I used when when Aja was a baby. I use to just take Sabrina to her dads and keep Aja because he could not handle both girls alone and I did not want to stay with him. So Aja and myself would just go for a drive and not come back until the next day. Back then we'd end up in Ohio somewhere and rent a room, spend the night then head back home. Can't do that anymore these days. Sometimes I just wish I could do it once and do it alone (other than bean inside of course) and get time away. Oh well I will get another hospital vacation in Dec for about a week ha!